Wedding Invitations 101

by Holly Lefevre

The wedding invitation you select should compliment the overall design and style of your wedding while, of course, conveying the important information to the guests. The style of invitation you select is also important, as it is the first impression guests will have of your wedding and set the tone for the festivities to come. Traditional invitation books, custom designed ensembles, do-it yourself kits from the local craft or stationery stores, and online catalogs provide numerous options in both style and cost for every bride and groom.

While the invitation process may seem simple enough, it is a common area for errors. First of all, brides and grooms often underestimate the amount of time involved in selecting the invitation. Believe it or not, you may find yourself bickering with your fiancé (or mother) over three very similar invitations. Then, once the invitation has been selected, you must determine the invitation wording, for which there are as many variations as there are styles of invitations. Finally, after these two tasks are complete, you must acquaint yourself with proper addressing and mailing etiquette. Now, with keeping all of this in mind, you may be wondering “How do I avoid making costly mistakes and still get my invitations out on time without offending anyone?” The answer lies before you, where you will become privy to the in’s and out’s, and the do’s and don’ts of wedding invitations. Begin this process by creating a personal timeline with target dates for ordering and completing other relevant tasks.

Mail: Most experts agree invitations should be mailed six to eight weeks prior to the wedding date. Begin with your wedding date and go back six to eight weeks.

Address: From the six to eight week mark, go back another one to three weeks (depending on the time of year, number of guests, and speed of the calligrapher) to allow time for the invitations to be professionally address by a calligrapher. If you will be using a calligrapher, consult with them early on to schedule for their turn around time. If you are going to be addressing them yourself, look at your personal schedule and allow yourself a minimum of at least one week.

Order: Most invitations from traditional books take three to six weeks to receive once they are ordered, while custom invitations may take four to six plus to complete the design and printing process. Turn around times vary with company, design and printing process.

Select: Ultimately you should begin your search for invitations four to six months prior to the wedding date if your plan is to order them from a traditional invitation book. Allow more time, six to eight months, if you plan to make intricate invitations yourself or have an invitation custom designed.

Types of Invitations

Once you establish your personal timeline, you can begin the search for your invitations. Lucky for today’s bride, along with the traditional tried and true styles, invitations companies have gotten innovative. Invitations come shaped like squares and circles, layered with unique papers, and accented with ribbons, leaves, or shells—you name it, someone probably makes it. The most important thing to remember is that the invitation style should reflect the style and tone of the wedding. Formal engraved invitations are not generally a good match for a casual “sand between your toes” wedding, nor are quirky cartoon invitations proper for a black tie event.

The search for invitations can begin with catalogs, the Internet, stationery and party supply stores, fine stationery boutiques, specialty wedding shops, or at major office supply stores. When looking at invitations, don’t underestimate the advice and knowledge of a good sales associate at a reputable store. You will find quality assistance at stationery stores or invitation dealers that specialize in the style of invitations you are looking for (a store that specializes in cost effective offset printing is not going to be the best choice for ordering your high end engraved invitations). Finding a shop that has “experts” available to you will make all the difference, as they can offer complete assistance with invitation selection, wording, and etiquette.

With the basic facts in hand, it is time to begin exploring the many varieties of invitation and printing options available. The following information will assist you in narrowing your search based on style, budget, timeline or all of the above.

Custom Invitations are the ultimate in displaying your personal wedding style. A graphic artist or designer can create a one of a kind ensemble to wow your guests and reflect your personal style. With this type of invitation, you can create personal stories, add unique details, and “go that extra mile.” Due to the time and detail involved, this is typically one of the more expensive options. Keep in mind that the basic design process for custom invitations can take many months. It may take a number of different mock-ups and a lot of revamping before the ideas are finalized. Therefore you should look into this option early on in your planning process (six to eight months).

Another take on the custom invitation is one that is designed and created by the bride and groom. While this route may take just as long as hiring a professional and may cost just as much, if you are talented in this area, you may save money on design and labor charges. Weigh the pro’s and con’s of making your own invitations carefully. Consult your personal and professional calendar to ensure that you have time to allot for this task, and be sure to enlist some help from talented friends.

Engraved invitations are the most traditional and formal style of invitations. Engraved invitations have been used for years and have a timeless appeal. An engraved invitation is made by pressing a metal plate (with your invitation wording on it) into paper from the under side of the paper, raising the letters on the front side of the invitation, where ink is then applied to the raised letters. Expect these invitations to take one to two months (and sometimes more) for completion upon ordering.

Letterpress invitations are almost the reverse process of engraved invitations. In this instance, the metal plate is actually pressed down into the paper creating a recessed type. Letterpress invitations cost about the same as engraved invitations, and lend a certain sense of style and elegance to your affair. Currently, this style of invitation is quite popular and in demand. Expect the turnaround times for letterpress invitations to take one to two months (and sometimes more) for completion upon ordering.

Thermography is one of the most widely used styles of invitation printing. Thermography gives the illusion of engraved invitations without the cost. While it is not as traditional as an engraved invitation, these invitations are widely accepted (in most circles). This is a very cost-effective option and there are many invitation books showcasing this type of printing. Because of the moderate pricing on this printing process, many brides are able to opt for better quality paper, more unique designs, and those extra special touches, that she may not be able to afford if using other, more costly types of printing. Turn around time can be quite quick depending on the overall invitation style.

Offset printing is standard flat printing. Offset printing can be done from a computer printer or printing machine. Offset is often used on less expensive invitations, when brides design their own invitations (and print from a computer or local copy store), or with the kits purchased at office supply stores. This printing process is typically the most cost effective option, and has quick turn around times.

Ordering Invitations

When it is time to purchase your invitations, you will need to know the basic facts and details that you would like to include in your invitation. Having the following information at hand will ease the ordering process and prevent delays in processing your order.

Number of invitations you will need (i.e., just because you have 250 on the guest list does not mean you need 250 invitations; the number households are you sending invitations to is the number you need.)
The wording that you would like on the invitations. Will your parent’s names be on the invitations? Will his parent’s names be on the invitations? Will you use a special quote or saying?
Basic ceremony and reception information: dates, times, and addresses.
Will there be an entrée option that you will need to include on the response card (to inform the caterer of the appropriate number for each meal selection)?
By what date the reception caterer needs to know your final guest count. If the caterer needs the guest count by September 20 (for a wedding date of September 27), you should put a “respond by” date of about two weeks earlier on the response card. This will give you time to follow up with those you have not heard from.

Components of an Invitation

After making your basic style and informational decisions, it is important to be knowledgeable about the components of an invitation ensemble before placing your order. The following list will acquaint you with the items you will need to include, what you may choose to include, and some things that are just simply “extras.”

A basic invitation ensemble includes the following information:
The invitation itself is the major component of the ensemble, this states who is getting married, who is the host of the wedding, the date, the time, and the location of the wedding ceremony. It may also indicate if the event is semi-formal, black or white tie.

Inner and outer envelopes are both traditional components of the invitation ensemble, however, some more contemporary invitation companies are no longer including inner envelopes. The invitation is mailed in the outer envelope. The name and address of the invitees go on this envelope. The inner envelope (with the entire ensemble inserted into it) is placed into the outer envelope for mailing. The inner envelope should state only the formal names of the invitees (no address). Refer to Frequently Asked Questions for more information on addressing

The reception card indicates the location and address of the reception festivities. It should state when the reception is being held (i.e., “immediately following,” or “6:00 in the evening.” If your ceremony and reception are being held in the same location, this card is usually not necessary and a small notation at the bottom of invitation stating, “Dinner reception immediately following” is sufficient.

The response card and envelope is an essential element of every invitation ensemble. Guests use this card to send their accepts or regrets to you (from this count, you will determine the final guest count for the caterer). Your address should be pre-printed on the front of the envelope (as the recipient) and the envelope should be complete with proper postage, leaving the guests the simple task of filling in their name and if they are coming or not. Sometimes these cards may need to include space for entrée options.

Map card or directions are courteous enclosures. Some locations provide these cards for the bride and groom to include with their invitations, but many do not. You can have these maps professionally drawn and printed at many of the same places you will purchase your invitations. If you will be hiring an outside source to provide directions, or printing this information yourself, double check the directions—drive the route exactly as the directions state and make sure they are 100% correct before printing them.

Additions to this ensemble are:

Thank you cards are typically simple cards with a monogram, first names, or “Mr. And Mrs. …” printed on the front side or flap. The inside in left blank for your personal message. Your return address should be printed on the back flap.

Pew cards are small cards sent to guests indicating which pew they are to be seated in at the church during the ceremony. The guests bring these cards to the ceremony and present them to the ushers. Many weddings forego these cards, as they are a very formal and traditional touch.

At Home cards would be included with thank you notes and provide the guests with the new address of the bride and groom. These cards may also indicate whether or not the bride is retaining her maiden name, hyphenating or taking the grooms name. In lieu of these cards, many couples print their new mailing address and email address (and sometimes phone number) on the backs of their wedding program.

Final Thoughts and Some Notes About…

Addressing the Invitations

When it comes time to address the invitations, you have a few options:

You can address the invitations yourself, and/or ask your fiancé to assist, as well as enlist the assistance of friends or family with nice handwriting.
Print the envelopes from the computer (still frowned on by traditional etiquette experts).
Hire a professional calligrapher to address the invitations.

There are many variations and options for addressing invitations depending on professional, marital, and social status of the invitee. Basic etiquette covers the following:

The outer envelope is addressed to the invited guests and should include the full names of the guest and the proper titles (Mr. And Mrs. John Henry Smith).
The inner envelope should include the title and last names (Mr. And Mrs. Smith).
For children under the age of eighteen, their first names should be listed under the parent’s names on the inner envelope, in birth order (oldest to youngest).
Children over eighteen should receive their own invitation.

Assembling the Invitation

The many pieces and parts of the invitation all need to fit into the envelope. Begin the assembling and stuffing of the envelopes by developing a system; take the largest component of the ensemble (usually the invitation) and stack the remaining pieces on top in descending order (largest to smallest). Do not put the response card in the envelope, just tuck it under the envelope flap, and don’t forget the stamp.

Postage: Once you receive the complete invitation set, assemble one set and take it to the post office to be weighed. Wedding invitations often require additional postage. You also need to purchase stamps for the response card envelope.

Now that you have had your basic lesson in “Wedding Invitations 101” you are poised to go out here and tackle those invitation books. Using this information you will be prepared and ready to select, order, and address your wedding invitations while maintaining your sense of style and avoiding costly mistakes.

FAQ

How do I tell my guests that I would prefer not to have children as guests at my wedding?

Strict etiquette experts will tell you that it is completely rude to state “no children” on the wedding invitation, or to even allude to it in other ways, such as “An Occasion for Adults Only,” “Adult Reception to Follow,” etc., as many brides are opting to do. However, in today’s more relaxed atmosphere (and especially here in Southern California) you just need to decide what is right for you in terms of how you would like to handle this delicate subject. For your information, the proper way to indicate who is invited to the wedding is by including their name on the envelope, “Mr. And Mrs. James Smith” on the outer envelope and “Mr. And Mrs. Smith on the Inner with Master Smith just below it (This would indicate that their young son is invited).

How do I know how many invitations to order?

Before you even think about ordering, you need to have a really solid guest list in place. Then count how many households you will be sending invitations to (you may be inviting 250 guests but only need 125 invitations). Then decide if you will be sending out any invitations to the “B” list (if you have one) and add a few for those guests. Finally, make sure you add ten to twenty five (invitations usually come in increments of 25) extra invitations to the final count. It is much less expensive to order a few extra invitations now than to place a new order if you run short.

Is it okay to include registry information with the invitation?

No. You should not include registry information of any kind with the wedding invitation. An invitation to a wedding is not a request for a gift. Registry information can be passed along by word of mouth, on a wedding web site, through an RSVP service (if you are using one), or it may be included with the wedding shower invitations.

Tips

It is much less expensive to order ten extra invitations now than to place a new order if you run short. A few additions to an existing order is a minimal cost, however having to place a whole new order for 25 invitations (usually the minimum order) can be quite costly. Ordering additional invitations (after the initial order has been placed) is considered a brand new order and subject to costly set up fees.

Assemble your invitation completely and then take it to the post office to be weighed. Many invitations require additional postage because of their weight. Currently, many invitations are also requiring additional postage because of their size and shape (oversized and square invitations cost more). When you purchase your postage, be sure to also purchase stamps for the response card as well.

If you are ordering invitations online or from a catalog, always request a sample of the invitation you are planning on ordering. This will allow you to check out the paper quality and design in person.

When assembling your invitations, set up an assembly line. Ask your fiancé, and one or two friends to help. Line up the pieces of the invitations from largest to smallest and then go down the line placing each smaller piece on top of the slightly larger piece. Have one person put them into the inner envelope and another put them into the outer envelope.

Believe it or not some people forget to fill in their names on the respond card. Try this trick to alleviate any confusion should this happen:

Make a master guest list and number your guest list (by household, not individual guest)
On the back or inside corner of the response card place a small number in light pencil. The number should be in a place where the guests will not see it. This number should correspond to the master.
If you do this, should a guest forget to write their name it, you can match it up to the master list and figure out who it is without any problem